I sit outside and watch the world; second by second passes me by. I imagine what it could be like to disappear, as if a wish could come true. I know what it is like to want to take your life, in a very profound way. 6 times now I’ve tried. Yet it hasn’t seem […]Read More I’m Sorry.
You hurt me. Physically, and emotionally. The power of your strength against mine, is not even a slight comparison. But, my scream for mercy sets you in your place. You say you don’t want it to be this way, but you keep breaking me down. You tell me we are going to be okay, but […]Read More Broken
Tuesday night, turns Wednesday morning and I’m still awake. I need more beer to cope with the ski hills I rode last night. 3 doobies and a couple pills later I’m laying in bed, but my eyes won’t shut. I wish I could always stay at the top; where the sunshine’s high and the wind […]Read More Okay
Drunk at 7am – why am I so fucked up. My boyfriend tells me I need to go see someone ASAP. Honestly, I think I scare him sometimes. My god do I scare myself even. But how would me talking about my life to someone help me? I don’t need to go through more pain, […]Read More Again
Nothing will ever beat the feeling, waking up early and feeling full of hope. After 3 cups of coffee, 2 Ativans, 1 doob and TA DA! That is how I feel. Okay. It’s Tuesday, the Monday blues are gone. Time to stiff up and do something. ANYTHING. Just out of school and it’s time to […]Read More Yup
I think about my mistakes and I just can’t find a way for them to leave my brain. I have a pounding case of the Monday’s. I’ve slept, finally. Which makes me more clear. It helps me find the beauty we have in this world, in my backyard and in my soul. No matter how […]Read More Monday
When I asked if you had anything else to say, I didn’t mean I needed an I love you or a forever fary tale. I just need to know if you saying sorry was because you are; or is this what you wanted. I feel such shame when I think of your anxious lips covering […]Read More Without Sleep